Do We Really Win by Losing?

I want to start by saying that I do understand and value the emphasis on good health and good eating and exercise. I am aware that the rates of obesity are alarming, and that this is a serious health challenge. I get that it’s worrying that children’s obesity rates are high and growing higher. I do understand that.

I also worry a bit about the way we talk about the glories of women making themselves smaller.

The “average” and, according to fashion sites preferable, size for women’s dresses are sizes 6 to 10. The smallest sizes for many dresses is 00. Say that out loud: double zero. Many women actually have a goal of getting down to a zero in size. Down to a zero. What does that sound like? Even if fashion sites aren’t actively promoting the rush to be size zero, they do claim that size 8 to 10 is considered “appealing.” By the way, the true average size of women in the US is size 16, which is larger than the “typical” charts for dresses, which range from 00 to “large” at 12-14. So the average woman is larger than large.

Again, if there are health factors at play, I am all about healthy eating and exercise. But even as we worry about obesity, do we worry about anorexia and bulimia and other eating disorders? The images in studies about life-threatening eating disorders, portraying what it looks like when women starve themselves, look a lot like the images in catalogues and diet programs.

There are other dangers in telling women to take up less space. There are already fewer seats for women at the corporate roundtable, in the executive dining room, in the CEO suite. In those spaces where women work so hard to gain space, are we really telling them to take up less of it?

What we should be saying is, “There is space for you.”

As Shakespeare says, “Come on, thou art granted space.”

Be healthy, be strong. Eat well and move around and get some exercise. Build your stamina for whatever you want to do with your life. As a leader, be strong and speak up and take up space in the room. As a leader make space for women and others who are still being told to be a little smaller. Be healthy and strong. Not small. Make space. Take up space. Grant space to yourself and others.

What can leaders do?

• Look around and see who is in important positions and making contributions. Actively reach out to others.
• Make meetings a safe space for everyone to speak up, especially those who might feel like outsiders.
• Make space for all people and all voices. Involve others in this, and set parameters that make it clear everyone matters.

Whether 400 years ago or today, “Thou art granted space.”